Soul Lover
by Noone the Virgin
Summary: No 70's parodies here. Sorry.


All over the Grand Line, a new performer was on the rise. His name?

The Soul King.

In actuality, he was the musician of the Straw Hat Pirates, "Humming Bones" Brook and the former captain of the Rumbar Pirates. But for the time being, he was known as the Soul King. But among the circles of his fans and groupies, he went by another name…

The Soul Lover.

During a slump in his career, Brook looked deep into his heart and soul and unearthed a newfound power from his devil fruit. One that allowed him to extract his soul from his body, though he no longer had one to begin with. With that ability discovered, he was able to make a new hit. It quickly rose in the charts.

One night, Brook was surrounded by female fans wanting to get closer to him for obvious reasons. All flashy, all provocative, surely able to make Brook excited in a certain place, though he no longer has that place.

Or does he?

One woman with red hair and really large breasts kept jumping up and down, as if her walk wasn't enough to make them wobble. She started to nuzzle near him, kissing his face (Though he didn't have a face to begin with). Brook couldn't help but blush (Though he had no skin to blush with).

"Hey, how about a puff-puff?" the provocative redhead suggested, cradling her bust in her arms. Brook's nostrils steamed up.

"It would be an honor, missus! I greatly accept your puff-puff on my face, though I have no face to begin with. Yohohohoho!"

The woman put her soft breasts on Brook's hard, cold skull. It was like Taylor Swift on Yom Kippur: uncomfortable and irritable. But Brook was enjoying every minute of it. His heart (though he doesn't have one) skipped a beat, his eyes (though he lacks them) fell out of his head (which is now a skull), his body (or what's left of it) grew hot, all from this woman's funbags.

"Oh, you're getting very excited, Soul King." She said in a sultry voice. "Perhaps we can get to something more…personal."

"Of course! I'd love to, my dear! But first, may I see your panties?"

"Of course." She hiked up her skirt and flashed her blue suede 'loon. She even began taking them off, putting them on Brook's face (Which was gone). The smell turned him on.

"I'm so excited right now, my penis is about to…" He stopped.

The realization of Brook being a corpse set in. He could no longer use his wedding tackle to seal the deal or destroy the Anglo-Saxons with his white genocide. He was as good as dead (Though, he was already dead).

Or was he?

Within his body (which was no more), he released his soul, wrapping it around the redheaded harlot's body.

"W-what is this?!" She yelled out, spooked. "Don't worry, my lady. This is just the soul coming out of me, ready to make your dreams come true." His spectral face faced hers. "It's time to…"

Bone.

The soul of Brook wrapped itself around the woman's body, spreading her legs. Brook went down and spread her with his tongue (Though he doesn't have one).

"Oh, your taste makes my tongue numb, though I have no tongue at all." He laughed. The redhead moaned by his luminous lashings. From his neck, a penis-shaped object formed. "I spent fifty years alone on that ship," He said to her. "I was so lonely, I was ready to kill myself, though I died anyway." He chortled.

"But when I finally saw other people, I was happy. But deep down, I knew I couldn't do the things I wanted to do back when I was alive. I could see panties, but I couldn't get into them. I was ready to die from the reality of my situation, though –"

"Though you were already dead to begin with." The redhead said. A pause occurred.

Brook inserted the penis-shaped object inside of her, slowly pushing the tip in.

"Yoho…"

She winced. It went further in.

"Yohohohoho…."

She started biting her lip. Finally, it went in all the way.

"Yo-HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Brook was in pure ecstasy. "This warm feeling…this soft touch…it can only be the feeling of a woman's vagina. I can finally die happy, though I am already dead to begin with…"

A light appeared over Brook's soul. He was slowly being transcended into Heaven, having no regrets in life.

"Wait, God! If I'm going to Heaven, at least let me finish having sex with this groupie!" The light yanked him further upward. Suddenly, Brook's body sprung up and grabbed his soul from the light, throwing it to the woman. It went right between her breasts. She pressed his soul in-between them.

"What the – it's like my body just sprung into action on its own!" He thought. "Right, this woman!" He began to thrust his ghost penis inside the redheaded groupie. She was moaning lightly.

"Her insides are so soft," Brook thought. "So soft, so warm, it's wrapping my penis in a blanket of bliss and pleasure, my heart can barely take it, though I have no heart to begin with." He laughed. "And her breasts...so soft, so warm, this is the heaven I've been looking for...

At first, Brook began to have sex with her normally. Then he realized his soul could form into other things, including a second penis-like extension. He went and stuck the additional appendage right up her brown eye, baby!

"OW!"

"Say it louder!" Brook yelled. "Owwwww! Not there!"

"Yes, there!" Yohohoho! He began to sing.

 _Making my way to the goal_

 _I penetrate your tight asshole_

 _With my dick_

 _Yes, my dick_

 _My green, unholy dick_

 _Soul Lover_

 _Soul Lover_

 _I make women scream and cry_

 _Until they fall, collapse and die_

 _The curse of the Yomi-Yomi no Mi_

 _Made all possible by me_

 _I make you cum_

 _Not a little or some_

 _A lot, a lot, a lot!_

 _Soul Lover_

 _Sooooooooooul Lover_

Brook was covering all her holes with his soul. She was floating up in the air while her body was being fucked in so many ways. Looking in a mirror, it was a sight for Brook's eyes, (though he had no eyes to see with). As the redhead was turned on, her bodily fluids covered Brook's penis and penal extensions, causing a mixture of ectoplasm to form, splashing all over the room he was in.

"Oh my! We're making quite a mess, my dear." He said.

"I don't care," She said. "I want your sticky ghost juice all over me, Soul King! Give me your seed now!" Brook yohoho'ed at the request. He began to fuck her holes harder and faster.

"Yes, yes!" She thought. "He's filling every hole in my body! My pussy, my shit pussy, my mouth pussy! Even my…my hearing pussies!" Brook's soul went as far as to earfuck his victim for the night. He wanted to cherish every inch of her, for as long as he lived (though he was no longer alive).

The lights went out.

The flames around Brook's soul gave a dim glow. The groupie was siren to Brook's showcase of pleasure. What she didn't know was with each thrust and insertion, her life force was being siphoned, fueling Brook's spirit. She grew cold and dim, as did her body. But Brook was just about to begin the ritual he just came up with.

"Now, my dear. It is time to relinquish your body and your soul to the King himself, the one and only Soul Lover!"

"I accept! Take my body, take my soul, take everything!" Her mouth was wide open, flashing along with her eyes. Brook finally unleashed all the regret, sorrow and pain from his soul and released all of his gooey ghost glue glop inside of her. Hailing from the underworld, it covered her entirely, with a gust of cold wind blowing through the room. It pushed away the door, traveling all over backstage.

When the wind let up, a cold trail led to the lounge room Brook was in. The other fans and groupies saw the spectacle: The woman was frozen in a conclave of ice, unable to move. Her body was lifeless and cold. The entire room was covered in a coat of frost.

Brook on the couch, poured a cup of tea, staring at the doorway in the dark.

"Next girl, please."


End file.
